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Psalm 39 Prayed
Disappointment
with God
O Lord, how often I have wanted
to blame you,
to
tell others of how you have disappointed me.
Instead I said, “I will watch
my ways
and
keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as
long as unbelievers are in my presence.”
But when I was silent and
still,
not
even saying anything good about you,
my
anguish increased.
My heart grew hot within me,
and
as I meditated on my troubles,
the
fire burned;
Then I spoke with my tongue,
pouring
out my anger to you,
trusting that your love is even
big enough
to
listen to my bitterest doubts:
“I am under great pressure,
far
beyond my ability to endure,
so
that I despair even of life.
Show me, O Lord, my life’s end
and
the number of my days;
let
me know how fleeting is my life.
You have made my days a mere
handbreadth;
the
span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each
man’s life is but a breath.
Man is a mere phantom as he
goes to and fro:
He
bustles about, but only in vain;
he
heaps up wealth,
not
knowing who will get it.
But now, Lord, what do I look
for?
My
hope is in you.
Save me from all my
transgressions;
do
not make me the scorn of fools.
I was silent; I would not open
my mouth,
even
to say how you have disappointed me;
for
you are the one who has done this.
Remove your scourge from me;
I
am overcome by the blow of your hand.
You rebuke and discipline people
for their sin;
you
consume their wealth like a moth—
each
person is but a breath.
Hear my prayer, O Lord,
listen
to my cry for help;
be
not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as an
alien,
a
stranger, as all my fathers were.
Look away from me, that I may
rejoice again
before
I depart and am no more."
Help me to remember that
because I am your child,
I
should not lose heart when you rebuke me,
because
you discipline those you love,
and
you punish everyone you accept
as
your child.
Most people have had human
parents
who
disciplined them,
and
they respected them for it.
How much more should I submit
to
you, the Father of my spirit, and live!
Their parents disciplined them
for
a little while as they thought best;
but you discipline me for my
good,
so
that I may share in your holiness.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time,
but
painful.
O Father, help me to trust you,
that
you want produce a harvest
of
righteousness and peace for me,
once
I have been trained by it.
Help me not to miss your grace,
O God,
and
do not let a bitter root grow up in me
to
cause me trouble and defile me.
Heb. 12:15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and
that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
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Psalm 39 Prayed
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